Very Weird But True

WEIRD BUT TRUE

By TODD VENIZIA

March 30, 2008 -- Cops in Salem, Ore., are on an epic quest - to find out who left a full suit of medieval armor at a bus stop.

The suit includes everything from metal boots to a helmet, and even has a shield.

The cops are hoping the nude knight will come forward, but he had better have a receipt if he wants it back.

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This year's book with the oddest title has been named - and the winner is "If You Want Closure in Your Relationship, Start With Your Legs."

The Bookseller magazine named the love self-help guide the winner in a close call over "I Was Tortured By the Pygmy Love Queen."

"Cheese Problems Solved" came in third.

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Outraged Ukrainians are crying, "I wanna rock!" after the nation banned all Western music from their train cars.

Riders used to listening to rock and pop hits now have to listen to obscure local folk music.

The ruling also applies to the nation's planes.

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A British teacher found a new way to get out of paying a parking ticket.

He successfully got the case against him thrown out because the ticket was placed in the wrong color envelope when it was placed on the car.

The ticket was in a black and yellow envelope, but because it was handed out by a private ticket-issuing company, it was not allowed to be that color.

Talk about bureaucracy.

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Unemployment offices in Britain are really working hard to get people jobs - they're even posting ads for work as pole-dancers and sex-chat-line workers.

One pole-dancing job offered $30 an hour to start.

A lap-dancing job said that no experience was necessary but that the job might "cause embarrassment to some."

A sex-line job was offering $100 an hour, but for that the applicant would have to be willing to appear in front of a Web cam alongside "nude adult images."

The job also has one extra requirement - it's important that the applicants be "enthusiastic."